When the mind drifts away: understanding dissociation in daily life

Have you ever driven home and realized you don’t remember parts of the journey? Or found yourself staring at a wall, unable to recall what you were doing just a moment ago? These might seem like moments of forgetfulness, but sometimes, they could be signs of dissociation.

Dissociation is the mind’s way of protecting itself, especially in response to overwhelming stress or trauma. For people who have gone through emotional, physical, or relational trauma, dissociation can become more frequent, more intense, and more confusing. But with awareness, grounding practices, and support, it can be managed.

What is Dissociation? 

Dissociation is like the mind’s emergency exit. When a situation feels too much, too intense, too scary, or too painful, the mind distances itself from the present moment. It’s not a conscious choice; it's something that just happens.

Think of it like a light dimmer switch: instead of switching off completely, dissociation "dims" your awareness, your memory, your emotions, or even your sense of who you are.

Everyday examples

Dissociation can look very ordinary, which is why many people don’t realize it’s happening:

• Zoning out in conversations: You’re physically present, but your mind has drifted somewhere far. You suddenly realize you haven’t heard the last few minutes of what someone said.

• Losing time: You sit on the bed for “just a minute” and then realize an hour has passed, without any memory of what you were doing.

• Feeling numb: You're supposed to be feeling sad, happy, or excited, but instead, you feel… nothing. Like you're watching life through a glass window.

• Disconnection from the body: You may feel like you're floating, or your body doesn’t feel like it belongs to you.

• Difficulty focusing: Especially in emotionally intense situations, the brain may go foggy, thoughts may scatter, and it’s hard to think clearly.

Emotional trauma and dissociation 

Trauma, especially when it's ongoing or happens in early life, can make the present moment feel unsafe. So, to cope, the mind tries to escape. It numbs out, checks out, or detaches from painful feelings, memories, or sensations.

This coping mechanism might have helped during the trauma. But in everyday life, it can make you feel confused, disconnected, or even ashamed, especially when you can’t understand why you're "spacing out" or "not feeling like yourself."

Dissociation can interrupt:

• Work or studies: Struggling to concentrate, forgetting tasks, or “losing time” during the day.

• Relationships: Others may feel you’re emotionally distant or not fully “there.”

• Self-care: Forgetting to eat, shower, or rest because time slips away.

• Emotions: Feeling detached from feelings, or emotions coming in sudden bursts after long numb periods.

It can be subtle, but it can also be deeply unsettling. You may feel like you're “not real,” or the world around you is “not real.” This can cause anxiety and fear, especially if you don’t know why it’s happening.

Managing Dissociation

While dissociation isn’t something you can force to stop instantly, there are ways to gently anchor yourself when you notice it happening.

1. Grounding activities

Grounding helps pull your awareness back into your body and the present moment.

• 5-4-3-2-1 Technique:

  • 5 things you can see

  • 4 things you can touch

  • 3 things you can hear

  • 2 things you can smell

  • 1 thing you can taste Use this especially when you feel floaty or detached.

• Hold something with texture: A stone, a piece of cloth, or an ice cube. Let yourself feel it fully.

• Name your surroundings aloud: “I’m sitting on a chair. The wall is blue. I can hear a fan.” Naming helps bring attention back.

2. Mindfulness moments

Mindfulness doesn’t need to be an hour-long meditation. Even 2-3 minutes of tuning in can help.

• Mindful breathing: Put one hand on your chest and one on your belly. Breathe slowly. Feel the rise and fall. Count your breaths.

• Body scan: Close your eyes and gently move your attention through your body—from toes to head. No judgment. Just notice.

• Anchoring phrase: Say to yourself: “I am safe. I am here. This is now.”

 3. Journaling & check-ins

Writing what you feel can help process the fog. Try gentle questions like:

• “When did I start feeling distant today?”

• “What helped me come back?”

• “What might have triggered this?”

Even if you can’t answer, the act of pausing and noticing is healing.

4. Seek support

You're not alone. Many people experience dissociation, especially after trauma. A trauma-informed therapist can help you:

• Understand your dissociative patterns

• Learn regulation techniques

• Rebuild a sense of inner safety

Dissociation isn’t something to be ashamed of—it’s a sign that your mind found a way to protect you when things felt too much. While it can be confusing or unsettling now, with gentle awareness, supportive practices, and the right help, it’s possible to feel more present and connected in your daily life. Healing doesn’t mean forcing yourself to “snap out of it”—it means learning how to come back to yourself, slowly and safely, one grounded moment at a time.